What Is A Eulogy?
A eulogy is a celebration of life and love. A tribute to the person who had a direct effect on the way we grew up and who shared our family roots.
A eulogy is read and/or spoken at the funeral or the memorial service. Words that say how much someone meant to us. How much they will be missed. The memories you shared together and the experiences you had together.
A speech that is typically given at a funeral for somebody who has passed away. It is a tribute to their life and how they have been important to the lives of individuals close to them. When an individual asks you to write a eulogy, you are being asked to capture the legacy and the life of that person.
Particularly when you are already reeling from sorrow, you may feel overwhelmed and anxious. That is very natural. It is an intimidating task.
Eulogy Vs Elegy
Death is a painful topic to talk about. Remembering someone who’s no more takes a lot of courage and strength to deal with a whirlpool of emotions. One way to do this is by holding ceremonies where you can remember who’s gone through words. However, English is a confusing language. The two words that are used for remembering the deceased are very confusing, we are talking about eulogy and elegy. In this article, we’ll discuss the meaning and situations where these words can be used.
WHAT IS ELEGY AND WHEN TO USE IT?
An elegy is basically part of literature, usually a song or poetry, which is written for expressing grief over someone who has recently died. Typically, the elegies are written in a mournful and sad tone and they contain lots of emotions. However, they aren’t always recited at funerals. Also, any poem that is written in alternating pentameter or hexameter lines can also be categorized as elegies.
For example, The recent song of Mike Murray is an elegy for his deceased grandmother.
WHAT IS EULOGY AND WHEN TO USE IT?
A eulogy, on the other side, is a narrative or simply a speech that is prepared for someone who’s recently passed away and it is delivered at the funeral. The speech is delivered to give tribute to the deceased and they are remembered for the life they had lived. When compared to elegies, eulogies need not be a part of literature, nor they have a sad or mournful tone. Instead, eulogies are used for praising the one who’s gone.
For example, He broke down while delivering the eulogy at his mother’s funeral.
EULOGY VS ELEGY: THE SIMILARITIES
The main similarity between these words is, they are used to address the person who is no more. Because of their similar pronunciation, they are often confused with one another. The word elegy comes from the Greek word “elegos” which means ” a song of sorrow”. On the other hand, eulogy contains the prefix “eu” which translates to “true/good”.
EULOGY VS ELEGY: THE DIFFERENCES
Elegies can be a subset of eulogies but vice-versa is not true. Both can be heard or delivered during funerals. Below are some key differences between a eulogy and an elegy.
WHEN THEY’RE WRITTEN?
Both an elegy and a eulogy are written after the death of a person. A eulogy is usually written right after the death of a person and is delivered at his funeral. In simple words, it has a short due date.
On the other hand, elegy can be written several months or even years after the death of a person.
A eulogy has more of an uplifting tone. It is used for praising and celebrating the life of the deceased person.
On the other hand, elegies are emotional and have a monotone. They are used for expressing sorrow and grief.
The elegies are usually short, may contain a few sentences or less than 500 words. The famous elegy written by Walt Whitman contains only 69 words but is very impactful.
On the other hand, the length of a eulogy can range from 500 to 1000 words. It is usually lengthier than an elegy.
An elegy used to convey a short but structured message for a deceased person. A eulogy also conveys the same message but in a more elaborated and solid form. It paints the picture of the life of someone who’s gone and pays respect and tribute to the kind of person they were.
Although both elegies and eulogies are highly subjective, they differ in their intentions. Usually, the one who prepares a eulogy has an idea of how his readers would respond or react. The writers of a eulogy may intend to evoke various emotions through their choice of words.
On the other side, the writer of an elegy has very limited intentions. They are certain about how they want their listeners to feel.
Both eulogies and elegies are written for the people who’ve died. But both differ in the form they’re written.
For instance, someone can write an elegy to express his sorrow and how he feels after the death of his loved one. On the other side, people write a eulogy to define and celebrate the life of a person who is no more.
An elegy is a song or a poem that is written to express sorrow over someone’s death. On the other hand, a eulogy is a speech prepared to offer tribute to the life of a deceased.
The significance of a Eulogy
It is crucial to understand why eulogies are written and why they are significant. You will be putting down what is typically the final words spoken about the late- the last words of remembrance of their grief-stricken family members and friends.
Although eulogies are about the late, they are written to console the people left behind. They are a great way to remember the late and bring them closer to their grief-stricken friends and family members, as well as to give closure to their lovers and assist them in letting go of the one who has died.
Thus, a eulogy must not read like an elegy or obituary. It should not be very long, usually around 3-5 minutes, since long eulogies can be emotionally demanding on those who are weeping.
How To Write A Eulogy For A Brother?
Writing a eulogy for a brother is never something easy. Though memories write themselves, the sense of loss can be overwhelming and hard to reach through. That’s to be expected and believe me when I say, I’m sorry for your loss.
I hope to help you find the words that will celebrate your brother’s life and his more endearing qualities that outweighed the character flaws of the one you love.
I’ve had many overwhelming admissions from people who decided to wing it and felt only afterward that they could have done it better. They felt they should have included something they had forgotten at the time.
Now regretting not taking the time to write down the memories because it hurt too much. The thought may be intimidating and daunting but well worth the effort.
I want to help you find the words that will help you express your brother’s, character, personality quirks, and traits that can either be endearing or irritating. (They were your sibling after all)
The good and the bad are what make us who we are. No one knows us better than our siblings do.
This is why you’re the perfect person to write a eulogy for your brother. You knew their secrets and their hopes and dreams. Let’s get started.
Writing A Eulogy For A Brother In 5 Steps
1.) Gather Those Memories
An Overwhelming Onslaught
Right now those memories that made your brother special to you are springing up on you even when you’re not trying to think about him. This is the perfect time to writhe some of them down. They don’t have to make sense to anyone but you right now. This part can help everyone your brother’s life touched with the grieving process. (Including you.)
Some Things To Include
There are going to be stories and memories that are uniquely your own which should include pranks and gags. Just you and him. Then there are stories that include things like :
* Home and growing up.
* Games and sports played
* Adventures shared (Like first camping trip)
* Friends and accomplices to mischief
* Family and traditions
* Your school and education stories
* Holidays (Halloween, Christmas, Spring break, etc.)
Pick and choose at your leisure. You don’t have to include their entire life, just the things that your brother identified with or that helped shape him.
Ask Others About Their Memories
Some things people never know about someone they love until thy are unfortunately gone from us. This is also your chance to learn something new or surprising about your brother.
A single-life is like ripples in a pond that go farther the longer someone lives. Here’s a list of people to get you started down memory lane:
* Parents –> They have great baby and toddler stories.
* Friends –> Best friends know things nobody else does.
* Significant Others –> There are so many ways a human loves. Significant others see moments of kindness and vulnerability that are only expressed around them.
* Coworkers –> Some friends we start out with and others we pick up along the way.
* Church or Spiritual Friends And Leaders –> Not everyone is spiritual but if they are it can become a big part of someone’s life and belief system.
2.) Pictures And Media
This is the hardest part. Seeing your brother the way you remember him can be difficult but important. Going through photos and social media can help tell someone’s story. Sometimes it can even be told by your own brother since social media has become a big part of people’s lives.
To Get started:
* Search FaceBook and any social media outlets that were mainly used personally.
* Go through old family photos and videos.–> ( Social media is relatively new.)
* Are there creative items? –> (Sketches, Pottery, Art, Something they built.)
* Music playlists –> sometimes songs are great ways to express what we feel or think at any given time.
* Places that were special to your brother. –> Where did they go to get away or to have fun?
3.) Start An Outline
Gather Your Material
Now that we have a great many stories and pieces of your brother’s life, it’s time to start organizing what you want to say about him to commemorate his life and the love you share with him.
Where To Start
Start anywhere you want and if you can’t decide, start at the beginning. Don’t be afraid to express your feelings in your tribute. Writing a eulogy for your brother is never easy. Just remember that you are the perfect one for the job since you have shared life experiences and DNA. Siblings are usually a person’s first friend or confidant.
Start With –> We Are Here To Celebrate And Remember The Life Of My Brother – then state his name and any nicknames.
Don’t be afraid to tell everyone why you wish you weren’t having to do this and why you are. Then tell everyone the things you remember and the things that you maybe just found out.
Include imperfections and frustrating qualities along with the good ones. No one is perfect, only human.
We all have insecurities, doubts, and annoying things about us. However, we all have those reasons we love and carry on also.
Victories we’ve won, shared laughter, and circumstances we’ve overcome. There are many things that make someone who they are and why we are special to each other.
4.) Write The First Draft
After writing out what you think will describe the best qualities and uniqueness of your brother the most important part is to remember you can always add or take away certain things in the process as much as you want.
If it gets to be too much then walk away and take a few moments to gather your thoughts and come back later. This paper is not set in stone.. You can include many things if words start to fail you.
Add Or Take Away
You can decide whether to add video montages or photo tributes as well here. Make a presentation or just tell it the way your brother would have wanted you to.
5.) Write Out The Final Draft And Practice
Practice Reading It Out Loud
More people are scared of public speaking than they are of spiders. So practice as much as you have to so you can say all you need to say. If it helps use a mirror, or go be by yourself and read it out loud just for your brother to hear. But it must be spoken out loud. Why?
Because it’s easier to write your feelings down than it is to actually speak them in front of others who are morning and grieving as well. Most get choked up and that’s to be expected. This is hard.
Just remember who it’s for and why it’s important to share it with others who may be hurting as well.
How to Write a Eulogy for a Sister
Writing a eulogy for a sister would make you shiver in fear because the pressure is really on. The truth is there is really no right or wrong answer when you make a eulogy for your sister as long as it comes from within.
A sibling bond is something nobody could ever break which is why you must be one of the speakers at her funeral. This is not one of those times when you would need to please anyone as it would be better to just speak what is on your mind.
Share Bonding Moments
There will certainly be times when you and your sister would bond over certain stuff so share what they are. It can be watching movies, playing games or even shopping for clothes.
Those are things that you will treasure for a long time and face the fact that they won’t happen again. Thus, now is the time to tell everyone what you will most about your sister.
Eulogies for Sister
Remember the fact that there is no time limit for going out there and telling everyone about your sister. The whole world must know how much she meant to you and now that she is gone, better let it all out.
It would be a lot better to not make it look like you are reading from something. If that happens, the audience would get the feeling that what you are saying is not coming from the heart.
If you brought notes with you, you can just glance over them every now and then. Yes, that would be an entirely different agenda other than reading it as it would be like reading a book in front of everyone.
Think About What She Would Have Wanted
Even if she has already passed away, there will be a few things that she would have wanted to happen. Better include those things in your eulogy as it would be your job to have those things accomplished.
You will owe it all to your sister to tell everyone what she would have wanted. It could be certain milestones for other members of the family so they would be extra motivated to do those things when the opportunity presents itself.
No matter what you are feeling right now, it would be wise to let it all out. All the people who make eulogies for their sister would feel the exact same way so you’re not alone.
It would be best to bring tissue when you are up on the sage making your eulogy. Even if you practiced your eulogy several times, there will still be instances when you will tear up.
End with a Bang
The ending should be something you would want to work on while writing the eulogy for your departed sister. It should be something that will stick in the mind of all those who are listening to you.
It won’t be wise to just end abruptly. Perhaps, it would be better to do it with a call of action in honor of her memory.
How to Write a Eulogy for Dad
There is no experience overwhelming like that of losing a parent. However, when it falls on you to write a eulogy for a dad that raised you, it becomes natural for you to feel overwhelmed.
This happens regardless of your relations with your father, whether it was a warm or a troubled one. The whole idea of writing a eulogy is never about compressing all the person’s events of life into a brief speech but coming up with the most significant memories you would love to share concerning the person you loved much.
The responsibility of writing your father’s eulogy is disheartening; however you don’t have to squeeze all his life into this speech. The most important thing you should remember as you prepare to write a eulogy is that it should contain your dad’s biography and the memories shared in an honorable way.
If you are confused and overwhelmed such that you do not know where to start or what to write, here is a guideline to help you write a good eulogy for your father.
Reflect on dad’s life
This means that you will have to gather information from different people who were part of dads’ life, including your children if you have any siblings, uncles, and even friends and co-workers. Write down all the points these people tell you. While writing the eulogy, even though you don’t have to reveal your family secrets, you must be truthful and major your point on the positive things.
Start writing your dad’s memories and the time you shared, running from childhood to your present age. Reflect back on the life lessons you gained from him, what dad was all about when he was around people and why those around him loved him.
Finally, talk about what you and your family and close friends will miss a lot because of your father’s absence.
Find a theme
This is about using the information you already have to develop a good pattern to start writing. Go over the notes you gathered from the various individuals and look for what is common. For instance, you may realize that most people mentioned your father as a loving soul, while others were so happy about his hardworking nature.
Thinking of a theme to use will direct the tone you will use too. This is why you find some eulogies are formal, while others are full of humour.
However, you have to focus on your dad’s personality and how he would have wanted the celebration of his life to be and sound.
Gather information about his biography
This part will include information such as;
His names in full
Nicknames if any
Any name used by relatives to call him
When he was born
Write important events of his life.
This part will have information regarding things like
You can include things he enjoyed doing, such as hobbies, favourite foods, adventures and any unique talents he possessed.
Write your introduction
Some people are good at speaking with only some guiding points. However, if you feel like you need to read the entire eulogy, you will have to write everything down.
You can decide to start your tribute by giving a summary of who your father was. This means that you will describe him to make him good and close to people individual. The body of the eulogy can have all the other biographical information.
Finish up the tribute with a song, a poem, or a loving goodbye. Some tips to know quotes work best for both the introduction and conclusion. Picking the best quote, song lyrics, or poem can be the easiest way for you to begin and end the eulogy.
Review and edit the eulogy
Writing a eulogy for your dad is no easy tasks and takes a lot of energy, both emotionally and mentally. You can rest a little bit and come back and re-read the entire eulogy. Then add things you feel are missing and cut out those that are not necessary.
To sum up, writing a eulogy for your dad is never easy and the process is draining and tiring. However, you need to take courage and confidence and follow the above steps to develop a successful eulogy.
The process might be overwhelming but consider it an honor to be the one saying your father’s last wishes and memories.
How to Write a Eulogy for a Grandfather?
Relationships with grandfathers are often marked by love and happy memories. This is the reason why publicly talking about a departed grandfather can be intimidating and emotionally-challenging. If you are writing a eulogy for your grandfather you may feel unsure and overwhelmed.
These pointers can help you get started. Pick the best memories. Start by thinking back on memories spent with your grandfather that meant most to you. Whether it’s going on a fishing trip or something happy and memorable spent at home, you are bound to recall memories that remind you about who the man was.
Look for the memories that were filled with fun and laughter, shared interests, or activities together that meant a lot to both of you. All these are worth sharing. Scan through photo albums or even look at social media for ideas. Brainstorm with family members who are also likely to have significant memories of their own.
Find the right tone. Was he a guy who loved to laugh and had a great sense of humor? Sprinkle a funny anecdote or two and don’t be afraid to take a lighthearted yet respectful approach. Was he soft-spoken and gentle?
Opt for a tone that is respectful and subdued. Was he someone who was always firm in his opinions and the go-to guy for advice in the family? Use a tone that channels this kind of loving yet authoritative way.
Use an outline is essential regardless of the kind of speech you are making. A typical outline can contain the following: –short intro about yourself –short intro about your grandfather –the body of the speech –conclusion — words of thanks.
An outline gives you a structure so you can deliver your eulogy in a clear and accurate way. An outline for a eulogy can be similar to the outline of any speech: start by introducing who your grandfather was, who you are, and move on to the body of the speech.
Conclude by saying goodbye and expressing gratitude for a life well-lived. With these major points, you can move on to the finer details of the speech that may include the anecdotes mentioned above, favorite catchphrases, and other memories from your grandfather’s life.
Give yourself ample time for rewrites. A eulogy is perhaps one of the best gifts you can give a departed loved and your loved ones as well.
It is not easy to get up in front of many people especially at a time when you are grieving. It is therefore important that you give yourself ample time to rewrite and polish what you are going to say.
You may end up adding an anecdote or taking one section out or you may spend a few hours stumped about what to say as an opener. All these will mean that you will go through a few revisions before you feel comfortable with your eulogy.
The most important thing is to come up with a eulogy that is authentic and true to what you want to say. Making revisions and polishing your draft also means making it long or short enough for the time given to you.
Practice speaking out loud so you can time yourself and avoid a eulogy that is too long or too short. Focus on gratitude Show gratitude for the time spent with your grandfather and for a life well-lived.
Show gratitude for the memories that will forever be there even when he is not. Express your gratitude to the people who are sharing in this grief. They no doubt have their own stories and memories of your grandfather as well.
Focusing on gratitude can help you create a eulogy that not only tells others who your grandfather is. It also tells them how much of a blessing his life was to you and to the people who knew him. Writing a eulogy is an emotionally-daunting task. But with the right focus and a good outline, you can craft a eulogy that truly honors your grandfather’s life.
How to write a eulogy for grandmother?
Tips in Writing a Eulogy for a Grandma
When a grandmother passes away, it will come as no surprise that it will affect a lot of people. It will become your responsibility as you write a eulogy for grandmother and go up there to recite to everyone.
Some people think it is not that hard to write a eulogy for a grandma but it will be once you realize how close you were. There will be times when you think you won’t be able to do it because you think you will cry several times.
Now is the time to share to everyone listening to your best stories with her growing up. Surely, there will be some funny ones and there will be some that will touch the hearts of those listening.
Some people listening to you may be able to relate to all the stories you would tell about grandma. As a matter of fact, some may even feel encouraged to tell their own story which would be amazing.
Remember the Good Memories
Nobody wants to bring up bad memories of your grandmother while you recite what you remember of her in your eulogy. Yes, it would be a lot better to just talk about what it was like when you were with her.
It is alright to pull some tricks out of your hat and mention stuff that happened several decades ago. People will immediately realize how close you were with your grandmother since you made memories with her back then.
Eulogy for a Grandma
There is no reason to hold back your tears while reciting your eulogy for your grandmother since everyone feels the same way. It is always sad to lose someone you care for and it will be a long time before you get over it.
It is possible to write some notes but this is unlike any other speech that you have made in the past. Even if you are used to making speeches in front of dozens of people, this one will be difficult to pull off.
The fact that you lost someone close to you would be hard to swallow. The only thing you can do is accept it while reciting the eulogy.
Say What You’ll Miss About Her
Grandma can definitely give a lot of good memories while she was still with you. Now would be the perfect time to discuss what you miss about her like her cooking or even her smile.
You will suddenly realize that you will not spend too many minutes recalling fond memories of your grandma. Yes, there are just too many to mention that you will think you will take hours telling them all.
Don’t Mind Repeats
It is common to think that other people will probably say what you are about say. After all, you are talking about the same person but that is perfectly alright since it comes from the heart.
It is normal to be nervous when it is your time to speak. When you realize what you are there for, the nervousness will go away and you would want to get straight to the point.
How to Write a Eulogy for a Friend?
Things to Remember When Making a Eulogy for a Friend
Only a true friend will be able to highlight the top qualities of their friend. It is only the close person to the late who will be able to deliver a great eulogy that describes the type of person the individual was and why they meant a lot to those who knew them.
It never feels great to lose someone close to your heart even if it is someone who is not related. When you are talking about a friend, you know this person was there during the good and bad times.
There are just too many things to share during your eulogy for your friend. The truth is it won’t be wise to take up too much time as there will also be other people who will speak.
Being a loved one is a privilege. And it is a privilege that many individuals have shared. Some might come to it with experience, while others have never even tried to write a eulogy before. But it is not simple for anybody, mainly when they are dealing with sorrow. To easily write a eulogy, it is essential to break the procedure into five steps, just like the mourning process itself.
Here are some manageable steps that make the eulogy writing process seem less daunting and possible:
Share How You Met
All beginnings are always wonder to recall especially if it is someone who means a lot to you. Therefore, better expound on how you met your friend no matter how long ago it was as some will be able to relate.
During the time you first met, better share what you first thought of that person and how you think the future will be. Of course, after that, you will tell all of them that you did not think that you will be that close but it happened and you were grateful for it.
Tell Funny Stories
Everyone will be in a somber mood at the funeral and what better way to lift spirits than to tell funny stories. Better practice your stories in front of the mirror and with a smaller audience to see if they would laugh though.
It would be time to remember how this person made you laugh whether it was intentionally or not. Even if the audience lost someone so dear to them, they would at least find a few minutes to share a laugh or two.
Recall all your memories.
Begin by recalling all the reminiscences. Some will make you cry while others will make you laugh. Select the most powerful memories.
While choosing the most powerful memories to put down, think about:
Touching and funny moments you would wish to share
Any difficulties you faced with the deceased and how you overcame them
How and where you first met your friend and the things you ever did together.
What counted most to your friend, what they liked to do, and the things they believed in.
What you liked most about your friend, and what you will live to miss about them.
After you highlight all the memories that reveal your friend’s unique qualities, you can ask others to do the same, and put them down as well.
Conduct a research
Talk to other individuals who were close to your friend. You might not have enough time to interview 6 or 7 individuals, but try to share with at least three or four who knew your friend. While you are doing so, a pattern might emerge. You might learn the tone and theme you would love to use for the eulogy.
Additionally, you can do Google research for your acquaintance. You might notice others who have touching memories to write about your friend. Probably your friend also left her or his own words behind- on a social media site or a blog.
Eulogy for a Friend
It is certainly different to read what you have prepared by yourself and in front of people close to the deceased. Thus, it would be nice to practice as often as you would like in the hours leading up to the eulogy for a dear friend.
Like they say, practice makes perfect and this would be the perfect time to do it even if people are watching. After all, there may be some words in your eulogy that would end up being hard to pronounce when it would be time to do it.
How was the Person as a Friend?
There are a lot of friends who would come and go in life and some who would stay. Yes, tell everyone how the departed treat you while the person was still alive.
Structure your information and start writing
Now that you have the necessary information, it is time to structure them by creating a fundamental outline. On a word processing document or on a paper, you can choose to write “Introduction,” Body,” and “conclusion.”
You can begin where you like better. If you already have an idea of how you wish to end it, write the conclusion part. If you already know what to include in the body section of the eulogy, start from there. Otherwise, simply begin at the introduction. Most individuals find it easier, to begin with, the body, but there is no “wrong” or “right” answer.
Do not get overwhelmed by struggling to make the eulogy perfect. Just think about your friend and express it from your heart. Put down the speech of your own voice to make the others in the memorial service feel like you are speaking to them and that you are sharing a trip together.
Keep it honest, positive, and make it remarkable.
Since this speech is for your acquaintance, it must be easy to keep it honest and positive, right? After all, you had a reason to choose this individual to be your acquaintance.
But possibly your friend was not there. Possibly he or she was temperamental, moody, always getting in trouble, and distant. If you find yourself straining with difficult information, remember that almost everybody attending the services possibly already knows them, so you do not have to highlight them. Attempt using a euphemism to assist in getting past any weird points that may further upset those in grieving.
A eulogy must be positive. Also, it should be memorable and touching. A perfect eulogy will typically be specific, yet brief. The perfect eulogies are thoughtful, and at times with a touch of funniness.
Even if the other people you are addressing are close family members, you must still thank all of them coming. That is such a nice gesture that would show everyone that you are there with good intentions in your mind.
It is evident some people came from a long distance just to get to the funeral. As a result, it would only be right to single out their efforts for making to the last time you’ll all pay respects to the person.
Single Out the Crowd
Things will suddenly pop in your head when you see people and how they related to the deceased. You will suddenly remember stories with these people as it is alright to not be prepared at times.
It would be alright to treat your eulogy for the departed friend as some type of impromptu speech. When this person is really close to you, memories will suddenly come to you so it is okay not to prepare a speech.
You never know when someone will get taken away from you as death comes unexpectedly. Thus, better tell everyone to spend as much time as they can with their loved ones.
Being busy is never a reason as you should always make time when you can. Besides, we only have a few friends that we can trust so hang out with them a lot.
Take Care of Loved Ones
We have all seen people who are so young get taken away from us so soon. These people still have a long life to live so better take good of yourself and all the people you love.
It won’t hurt to ask a friend how this person is doing as your friend may be going through a tough time. Of course, this is not really something you should say in your eulogy for your friend.
Rehearse, and get assistance if you need it
Now that you have completed writing keep it aside and try doing something else for a while. Then get back and go through it. Ensure the memories you chose reveals vivid information and some touch of humor, and expound on the theme of the speech. Ensure that it has a flow, and the words in it are evoking the appropriate tone.
If you consider the above tips, you will do perfectly at writing a eulogy that celebrates your friend’s life and pays tribute to them. Still, you perhaps feel too disoriented or overwhelmed to write a eulogy. Or possibly you do not feel like you have time to do it appropriately. If so, that is fine- under the situation, it is more than understandable.